Roni a la Carmen Sandiego

Roni in 6th grade (1993-94) (top right corner)

From 1991 to 1996, nerdy kids learned geography via a game show featuring child detective wannabes chasing an imaginary criminal. That show was the PBS series Where in the World is Carmen Sandiego? based on the computer games by Broderbund software. (Each verse is its own entry, clickable in its own right.)

Well she sneaks around the world from Kiev to Carolina,
She’s a sticky-fingered filcher from Berlin down to Belize,
She’ll take you for a ride on a slow boat to China,
Tell me where in the world is Carmen Sandiego?

Steal their Seoul in South Korea, make Antarctica cry Uncle,
From the Red Sea to Greenland they’ll be singing the blues,
Well they never Arkansas her steal the Mekong from the jungle,
Tell me where in the world is Carmen Sandiego?

She go from Nashville to Norway, Bonaire to Zimbabwe,
Chicago to Czechoslovakia and back!

Well she’ll ransack Pakistan and run a scam in Scandinavia,
Then she’ll stick ’em up Down Under and go pick-pocket Perth,
She put the Miss in misdemeanor when she stole the beans from Lima,
Tell me where in the world is Carmen Sandiego?
Oh tell me where in the world is… Oh tell me where can she be?

Ooh, Botswana to Thailand, Milan via Amsterdam,
Mali to Bali, Ohio, Oahu…!

Well she glides around the globe and she’ll flimflam every nation,
She’s a double-dealing diva with a taste for thievery,
Her itinerary’s loaded up with moving violations,
Tell me where in the world is Carmen Sandiego?

Over this series of entries, we’ll see how I stack up to Carmen Sandiego. Along the way, geography nerds can either be informed about stuff they don’t know or scoff at rudimentary explanations.

(Lyrics via stlyrics.com)

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